Preeti has given away her cherry AGAIN. She’s in love AGAIN. She said she’s a virgin AGAIN. A virgin for the 8th time now. How she gets away with it?? I have no fucking idea. But somehow the guys she’s wish believe her. My conversation with her last night…
“Wait, wait, WAIT! You said you were a virgin, and he believed you?!?!” I asked completely amazed.
“Yes, and he believed me! He wants to propose, and you know send a proposal and all that shit” she said rolling her eyes.
” I don’t understand, how the fuck are you getting away with this?? How the fuck is he not noticing that you aren’t? Like how do you do it?!?”
“OMG you’re so fucking annoying! It’s simple, when he enters I moan and lie and say oh it hurts and make it difficult and blah blah blah. Honestly, its not science!”
And there ladies and gentleman you have it. That is how you pretend to be a virgin. You just lie and say “Oh, it hurts”!
To say dating is tough, would be an understatement. My date today, that I just left only about half an hour ago was the best date I had ever gone on. You’re probably waiting for the but. If this was a movie, there would be no BUT. There would just be butterflies, rainbows, and that you’re in love smile. However in my stories, its never that way. This guy was beyond amazing, he was great in fact. He gave me butterflies, and didn’t mind that I lived alone. I was actually shocked that my mom had set this up. A cousin of a cousin of a sisters husbands wife type situation. I was hesitant, until I saw his picture of course. He was tall, beige and handsome which I didn’t mind, because there is nothing that a little bit of tanning wouldn’t fix. He had the body of a handsome cottage builder, with the brains of a sophisticated professor. He was witty and quick to remark to my language of sarcasm. I say he WAS because after this date he no longer will be. Which really is a shame. My heart hurt a bit saying that. I haven’t met anyone since the Bastard whom ignited in me those tiny butterflies. I was so excited for our date today, that I was up at exactly 6 am sharp, and went for a run in the coldness of winter.
Anyways. When I said the world is small it really is. We were laughing at a story he was telling me, and I wanted to show him a video of my best friend and niece signing a cute song. His whole face paled when I showed him the video. I thought he was going to pass out from the cuteness of the video. I mean, I knew my niece was cute but I didn’t expect that to be his reaction. You see God has a funny way of deterring your plans. Here I was looking into his eyes, and thinking of what our babies would look like, and here the guy was thinking to himself “Shit, my ex-girlfriend is her greatest friend in the whole entire world”. This beautiful, smart, handsome, cool guy, was the same one whom broke my best friends heart, and had her crying for an entire year.
You should know I haven’t done much this year so far. I am still jobless, and have applied for like one job. My mother things the answer to my confusion and loss is marriage, and my sister thinks its becoming the nanny to her children, and I think the answer is just to lose weight. I haven’t done much because I am still stuck on that Bastard. A year today exactly and all I think about is him stupid ugly face, and his handsomely devilish smile. Did I say handsomely devilish smile? I meant his stupid fucking hideous smile. Anyways other then that, I am mostly sleeping.
BUT on a good note, I have lost some weight. I went from 170 lbs down to 148 lbs as of today! How did I do that? By eating NO flour and tons of sugar. Okay, maybe not tons, but sometimes when I get hungry I skip dinner and just eat a chocolate bar. Also, now don’t be shocked, I’ve taken on out door running! I don’t recommend that shit to ANYONE, especially in the winter time, but its helping get my fat ass in shape. For now I have promised to live in the library, and do nothing but job hunt and figure out my future! Ohhhh how complicated that sounds! Maybe the answer is to get married! An arranged one with a man whom is bald and has a basketball for a stomach. Sigh….. oh the horrible options are ENDLESS!
You would think that after a year I would be over this bastard. But no, still up until 1:30 am thinking of him. What is he doing, what is he eating, how is he doing? Pathetic! Just pathetic, honestly.
Watching movies just isn’t the same anymore. Every break up feels like my own, every heart break tears me up. Romantic movies just aren’t the same. They all just seem like a dead end before the movie has even neared the end. I’ll just stick to cartoons, and maybe comedies with no love plot.
Okay, so I finally moved! I was suppose to move mid December but that didn’t happen. So I had to move on Jan 1, and I can’t tell you how happy I am. I can’t say the same about my mom, whom has started lying to all her friends again. Every time they’re over she tells them, I am either in the shower or out. Which makes me sound like I am out all the time. I am also sure they are now wondering, if I took a job working the corner street. Anyways! So for now my place is in a great location, and only an hour and a half away from you my mom, which in my books is a little too near. She calls every weekend to ask if I am coming home to take her grocery shopping, or go to the mall with her. Other then that, my life has been uneventful. I am starting to job hunt, and figure out what direction to go in. But then again, aren’t we all?
MERRY CHRISTMAS! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! AND HAPPY HANUKKAH!
Yes, it’s been a while, BUT I have move. I’ve been getting amazing sleep without the sound of snoring giving me insomnia. Promise will update you tomorrow! For now off to bed, on a mattress that I paid way too much for!
I forgot to tell you all this but I am officially moving! It took months and months to convince my mother that I will be moving to another city again, but this time not so far away from her. She finally agreed but not without a million rules. I have to be home any time we have family over, as well as all weekends. That’s no bad, as I will be going from listening to her snoring 7 days a week to only two days a week. I have everything packed and will be moving on Saturday. I plan on sleeping the first two weeks, and then getting my fat ass into shape the rest of the time. As of now my weight has sky rocketed, but hey whos weighing? Not me that’s for sure!
He messaged. The fucking bastard whom promised me marriage, and a carriage, messaged me. A simple ‘HEY, call me. I need to talk to you’. As if nothing had happened. As if he never lied to me and broke my heart, as if us being together never happened, as if I never went and googled rings, wedding dresses, wedding cakes, and summer colours. He messaged, like what we had didn’t exist, as if he never cheated on me, and we were two strangers inquiring about the health of the other. He messaged, as if I never told my mother that she should expect a certain someone sending a proposal. He also messaged not from one number, but two different numbers, because I ignored his messages. The second one I mistook for a cousin, and I was obligated to reply.
I believe in ignoring people. Nothing drives a human more insane, then being forgotten or ignored. And I wanted to do that, but my fucking cousin whom I am close with keeps changing his number and therefore instead of making him feel forgotten, I hurled my anger at him and made him feel like he still mattered (I think so anyways).
“FUCK OFF. JUST FUCK OFF AND FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT AND STOP FUCKING MESSAGING ME. STOP TALKING TO ME. GO DIE AND LET ME BE!”
“Are you serious?”
What do you say to a fucking arrogant piece of shit who thinks he’s God’s gift to women. You tell him to FUCK OFF and block his number for the umpteenth time.
Some people wonder if God exists, if there are other planets, or if there are aliens. All I wonder about is where love goes? Where does it end up, how does it disappear, and when does it disappear? Is it on Mars? Or somewhere up in heaven hanging out with the dead, or is it partying with aliens on Pluto. Where does love go? The love between mother and daughter, father and son, husband and wife? Where does it go?
My guess? Probably poppin’ champagne bottels with Hate at some swanky club.