There are two types of people in the world, the city people and the town people. My beliefs are once a towner always a towner. I could say I was meant to be a towner, as I grew up in a very tiny town, way too tiny for my liking. But, I was always a city girl, even before I knew what a city girl was. I started drinking coffee at 15, and had my morning latte runs before it was a fad. I had no patience for small talks, and nice customer service. My sister, on the other hand has always been a tiny town girl. She loves waking up to the sound of birds chirping in the morning. Where I ,on the other hand, hate the sound of birds. When I first visited tiny town (after years of living in a big city) I thought I was being followed and whistled at by a stalker, until I realized it was an actual bird that sounded like a stalker whistling. (Not that stalkers have a particular way of whistling, but in my mind all stalkers whistle).
There are huge differences between small town people and big city people. On my walk this morning I saw a man actually MOPPING his drive way. I looked at him with my mouth open wide, and he just waved a hello to me. As if mopping his drive way was the most natural thing to do. When I mention this to my sister shes just says so? How about when I take my niece out for a walk around the block. Everyone waves hi to her and knows her name! This makes it impossible for me to be able to tell if they are child molesters, or in fact really nice people. Another thing I mention to my sister whom just looks at me in disgust. And going to buy something, is an absolute nightmare in a small town. The worst is when you’re in a hurry to get somewhere, and you wait in line to pay for your groceries (in my case clothes) there is always a cashier talking to the customer (neighbor) and asking her about Johns’ kid or Leslies’ second pregnancy. How is it that everyone knows everyone! Or is it just my luck? My god can we not just hurry it up SVP! If I am with my sister and I complain about this, she just rolls her eyes at me and calls me a bitch under her breath. Yes I heard that. Finally the other day I was in a hurry to get to the grocery store (mall) and wanted to grab some tomatoes (blouse) before it closed. And right before were about to leave the house, my sisters neighbor comes by to just say “hello”. The hello turns into an entire one hour conversation about how the new neighbor has yet to cut her grass! Because her grass looks about 4 inches instead of the standard 3.5 inches. As per How To Be A Good Neighbors Law Manuel that deems any grass above 3.5 inches must be cut or else! The else being the subject of neighborly gossip.
“Can you believe it?” says my sister with annoyance. “ She just moved in a couple of days ago and already she’s causing so much ruckus!”
“Yes indeed, so much!” I say this with the utmost amount of sarcasm that my sister doesn’t even notice.