Living at home is nothing like living alone.   I miss the days of looking at the wall and wondering what to do with my Sunday morning, or the feeling of being lonely.   I even miss the mice playing in the above apartment of my neighbours place.   I miss the noise of my neighbours late laughing, and loud music on the weekends, and mostly I miss the silence.  At my mothers house there is no such thing as silence, there is only yelling, and cooking.  Cleaning and gossiping, washing clothes and ironing, making tea and coffee.  It’s an exhausting way of living.  There is no such thing as relaxing.  I told my mother on Friday that we should take it easy on Sunday, go for a nice long walk, smell the fall air, and look at the beautiful fall colours.

“What, what, what?” she asked confused. “Sunday is when we have people over for tea!”

And so is every other day of the week.   I haven’t had time more then a few hours a day to hear nothing but and that’s usually in the middle of the night when my mother is snoring.   Every single day she has something to do for me.  It’s like she made a huge to do list for the four years that I was away.  Cleaning the basement, re-organizing every cabinet in the house, throwing old clothes, repainting furniture, changing curtains, and so on.  The only thing she hasn’t asked me to do is to paint the house, or do a flip. When I ask why she hasn’t asked my older sisters to help her with this, her response is “They’re married’.  At the mention of my little sister? “oh, she’s in school”.  When you’re single you’re at the bottom of the food chain in my household.  Or i should say, when you’re expired to be more correct.

For now I am still sleeping on a cot, at the end of her bed.  Neither one of my siblings are willing to share their room.  As for you, well. I hope your life is more exciting then mine.  Filled with crip fall air, beautiful Sunday walks, and yummy pumpkin lattes.  I also hope you’re not expired yet.

Gobble Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving my lovelies! I hope, unlike me you are enjoying a beautifully cooked turkey with yummy stuffing and mouth watering turkey.  I asked my mother if I could prepare a Thanksgiving dinner today, and she out right refused me. She stated it was haram to be celebrating a holiday that killed so many, and instead of a turkey she offered to make me some rice and meat. Where my mother gets her information from sometimes I have no idea, and so this year I am not celebrating thanksgiving or any holiday it seems.  When I lived alone I celebrated every single holiday from Hanukkah to Christmas to Diwali. But now I’ll just have to settle on eating rice and meat for the rest of my life, without stuffing or gravy.  But please, DON’t feel too sorry for me.  I was invited to a Thanksgiving dinner.  When I asked my mother if I could go, she gave me the look of death.

” What, what, what?! Friends house? You just got back yesterday and already you want to leave your family and go spend time with your friends? Well this is something I never thought I’d hear in my life time! And who will eat all this rice I cooked?!”

And with this she huffed and puffed at the same time rolling her eyes.  And yes you heard right.  At 26 I am back to being 11 years old, asking my mother if I can go outside and play.  I went from an independent girl living a lone, paying my own bills, running a house hold according to my own rules, and coming and going as I pleased , back to this.   My mother doesn’t even acknowledge that I lived alone, let alone that I have even left this house.  Ever since coming back her priority has been to get me married off to just about anyone.  Next weekend, I have a proposal from a doctor.  “A DOCTOR!” my mother exclaimed.  Can you believe it a doctor!?  My worst nightmare really.  I went on a date with one before.  Frankly it was horrid.  All he talked about was himself and occasionally he would look back at his Audi that he had parked in front of the restaurant just so he could keep an eye on it.  The worst dates that are very worthy of writing about have been with Doctors.  I think the only reason my mother loves doctors is because she just wants to see and this is my son in law and HE’S A DOCTOR! Which I doubt very much will happen.   But for now, my mother insists after today I have to go on a diet and I should start the gym again.

“You don’t look like your pictures anymore, and now I have to send your auntie and them new pictures.  And you know how hard this face thing is to send picture on.”

By this face thing she means Facebook.  But anyways, back to Thanksgiving.  As usual I am off topic again.  But happy thanksgiving to all the people out there who celebrate it.   And if you are dating a doctor who is indeed great, and doesn’t only talk about himself, then kudos to you my friend, because in my mothers eyes you definitely have hit the jackpot!




Where Have I Been?

You might be asking that question as to where have I been, or what the hell have I been doing? We’ll  let me answer that.  I’ve been at my mothers house, trying to get some decent sleep.  Between her snoring, and my sisters talking in her sleep, I’ve got no sleep whatsoever.  Now when I moved back in with my family, I thought I would get back my old room back.  That was a huge mistake on my part.  My old room has no become my little brothers room, who is now HUGE (BTW).  When I had called my mother to ask her where I would be sleeping, she said the same place of course.  Which I thought would be my old room.  But your brother is older now and needs his own space was her explanation of why I would not be getting my old room back.  And so I sleep in my mom’s bed on a cot, by the foot of her bed Sometimes my older sister is there with her kids, and I am stuck between all of them.  But mostly it’s a race between my mother and I of who will fall asleep faster.  It’s always her though.  As soon as her head hits the pillow, she’s gone.  And so I stay up all night listening to her snoring.  Now you might assume that she’s a heavy sleeper, and believe me she is. BUT as soon as I put my headphones on to listen to my music, she is awake!   AWAKE! RIGHT AWAY.  I have no idea how, but she states the music is too loud.   Don’t ask me.  I have no idea how she can hear it.  If holding her nose in her sleep, or trying to move her a million times does not wake her, how in the hell does she wake up with my music?  That’s something I’ve been trying to figure out too. For now, I’ll just try to hold her nose in her sleep, until she stops snoring for a few seconds.