I started writing this blog the day I lost my virginity. I was no longer looked at as the girl whom would marry anyone she wants, but as the girl whom NO ONE would want to marry. I was ruined goods in so many people’s eyes. The ones whom knew I wasn’t a virgin anyways. The truth is not many people still know that I am not a virgin. I like to call myself a closeted non-virgin. I had to start lying after everyone started telling me I am going to Hell and no one from my culture would ever want to marry me!
My entire life I grew up in in the western world. I was told one thing and surrounded by another. I did everything my parents told me growing up. Until I met the bastard whom not only broke my heart but also popped my cherry. He was a slick bastard that promised me marriage and a carriage. The carriage did arrive, but it was full of empty promises and lies. And so I was left hymen less and husband- to-be-less.
I grew up in a very religious muslim background where it was believed you must be a virgin before marriage. And if you weren’t? Well, like I said you were tainted and a no body. Everything was Haram (blasphemous) drinking, having a boyfriend, wear clothes that was revealing. I thought I was rowing this tiny ass boat on my own, full of unmarried non-virgins woman full of quilt and regret. It wasn’t until I moved a few hundred miles away that I realized I wasn’t alone in feeling this way. As a matter of a fact there is yacht full of us gals out there that that feel the same way. Except were too consumed by the expectations put on us to enjoy the ride. I realize that a lot of us do lose our virginity but most of us do with the intention of marrying the person we end up with. However in many cases that isn’t the case and so we end up being looked down on. Here is where I tell you stories of friends, and real girls whom lost it.
So if I had to end this blog a happy note it would go something like this. I love shoes, wine ( even though I feel guilty about drinking it), dancing in the rain ( I swear this is true), and taking naps with my niece whom is the love of my life.
After saying all of that I am also aware that this is indeed a very sensitive topic and will cause an uproar. (Although I hope not as that sounds way too dramatic). I hope you enjoy this blog, and remember this is the place where you leave your judgment at the door!
PS. If you want to send me your stories anonymously I would be more then happy to also post it up on my blog.